HOW TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
Getting in touch with your deepest desires
“I don’t even know what I want anymore,” a brilliant, weary woman said to me recently. “I seem to have lost my capacity for wanting.”
I hear that a lot from women, said in different ways. During this Era of the Pandemic, it’s not been business as usual. We’ve collectively been dealing with loss and uncertainty, not to mention isolation and loneliness. There have, for most of us, been at least moments of despair.
And yet, these past several months have also been an opportunity, an invitation to take a closer look at who we are, how we’re living, and what we want in this life.
AH, THERE’S THAT WORD AGAIN: WANT:
What do you want?
Do you know?
WANT: A DESIRE FOR SOMETHING
We are, of course, trained to tame our wants and desires.
Women are wired to care for others. We tend to look out for people, consider their feelings and needs, and have as a high priority that people around us are taken care of one way or another.
This strong caregiving pull is there whether we happen to have given birth or not. It’s the mother energy and life force, and it’s a beautiful thing.
But as with all things, balance and integration are key.
What happens to a whole lot of us is we get a bit out of whack. Or said another way, the frequency of our energy dips below the line into the shadow zone. Science and spirituality agree on this one — when we get all lackluster and dull, we literally vibrate at a lower frequency.
That can show up as feeling…
dried up and joyless…
vaguely disappointed by life…
overwhelmed and underappreciated…
or bogged down in a confusing swirl of ideas with no clear direction.
Because we’re pretty good at functioning at a high level on top of all that, however, we can plunk along in life for quite a while before we say Enough’s enough, I want to live a big, juicy, custom-built-for-me life.
I mean, where do you go for help with that Vague Sense of Something Missing, amiright? It’s not even tangible enough to complain about without feeling like a whiny, ungrateful twit.
But no. You are ABSOLUTELY FLIPPING NOT a whiny, ungrateful twit. Banish that thought from your head this minute, my friend.
You are a woman with a fierce, fun-loving, beautiful spirit in you that wants to come out and play. And part of you knows, deep down, that it’s been a bit neglected for a while.
Maybe a long while.
Never mind, we are evolving beings, and let’s consider this the perfect time for you to give voice to aspects of you that have not been heard for a while.
Here are 3 ways to tune into those deep desires of yours:
🍃 Focus on feeling good.
Feeling good is an excellent access to the higher energy bandwidths, which means it’s a great way to get in that light and happy zone where your inner being feels welcome to express itself. The better you feel, and the more you get conscious control and awareness of what you are vibrationally broadcasting, the more connected you become with your Self, your Soul, with others, with life force.
🍃 Let your Soul know you’re listening now.
If you’re not used to consciously ensuring you are feeling good, here are three questions you can ask yourself in any given moment to create new neural pathways in that gorgeous brain of yours and spark new ideas and actions:
WHAT WOULD FEEL GOOD RIGHT NOW?
WHAT WOULD HAVE THIS BE FUN/ENJOYABLE?
WHAT DOES MY SOUL WANT?
🍃 Start a running list of desires.
We’re so used to having lists of things to do (or feel bad about not having done) that it can seem daunting to make a list of things you want in your life. But this is most definitely not a to-do list. This is more of a “to be” list, a menu of beautiful ideas and options you can choose from whenever you like.
Some of the women I work with are a bit stuck at first when we do this — when you haven’t had any attention on your longings and yearnings, you have to give them time to bubble up at first.
Here are some ideas from other women to prime your pump and get you in the flow:
BEING LOVED, CHERISHED AND ADORED
LOTS OF BEAUTY AND JOY IN MY LIFE
THE COURAGE TO MAKE A BIG CHANGE
AN ENVIRONMENT THAT NOURISHES, CALMS AND INSPIRES ME
WORK THAT USES MY TALENTS AND IS FULFILLING
MORE FRIVOLITY AND PLAY
REAL COMMUNITY AND DEEP FRIENDSHIP
CLARITY ABOUT MY PURPOSE AND PATH
BEING UNABASHEDLY AWESOME AND SHINY
Of course your desires will come in different sizes. You might notice a desire for some salted caramel ice cream…followed by a sudden whim to go live on an island somewhere. Never mind, just put them all down.
Desires are like flowers. They have different growth times, they bloom at different times, they come in different colors…and they can all have a place in your garden. Don’t worry about writing down something you’re not sure you want to do — again, this is not a commitment you’re making, it’s a way of honoring your desires, naming them, and giving them space and room to breathe.
I suggest you make it a practice to have this be more of an ongoing journaling exercise than a once-and-done affair. Once you start the flow of communication with your Soul in this way, you can use this list of desires as your fuel and your compass both.
The more you tune into and honor your Soul, the less you need to keep looking outside for answers. You’ll be able to listen for what the inner being is yearning for and take soulful actions that are in alignment with who you are at your essence — who you are now.
🍃 🍃 🍃
Does this resonate with you?
What are some of your desires?
Please drop a comment below and tell me about your own experience, I’d love to hear!
ALSO: If you’re interested in having a guide on your own journey and exploration of living your life as a work of art, I’d be honored to discuss that with you.
Meanwhile, I look forward to hearing from you below!
With love and moxie,
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